Try to remember
by Ilikerandomthingssodontjudgeme
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are now friends, but not together as a couple. Kurt didn't want to let that happen, not yet, not after what Blaine did. But if what Blaine did was so bad, why doesn't he remember doing it? This is my first fanfic, so please be nice! Title may change. Rated T to be safe. Warning: may contain references of rape, sexual assault and a bit of angst
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own glee (if I did, Klaine would never have broken up)**

Four months. It had been four months since Kurt and Blaine broke up. Blaine had been going over and over it in his head, but no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't remember any of what happened that night. All he remembered was waking up, seeing Elli in the hallway, then seeing the pile of his own clothes on the floor, and so he had jumped to conclusions.

He remembered the flight over to New York, the self-hatred which he was feeling even then. Heck, he'd felt self-hatred more times than he bothered to count. He remembered the lead up to telling Kurt, how he'd had a bit of a breakdown while singing 'Teenage Dream', how he knew that Kurt had assumed that the reason he was acting funny because of the bruises on his body. Little did Kurt know that the reason was because Blaine had cheated on him. No matter how many times Blaine went over it in his head, he couldn't get it to sink in. _I cheated on him, _Blaine thought. Not being able to remember actually doing the cheating didn't help matters.

Blaine had thought about telling Kurt that he couldn't remember anything from 'that night', but had decided against it. What good would it do? He didn't know why he couldn't remember, he had heard about people who had done something so horrible that their brain sort of erased it from their memory, but Blaine didn't think that was the answer. He was pretty sure that only happened to people who had done something really really horrible, like killing someone. So that theory was out. Blaine could think of another way of finding out why he couldn't remember, but he didn't really want to go there unless he had to, and he wasn't even sure if it would work.

"and oh my god, the outfit she was wearing was to die for! I mean, I would've thought blue wouldn't go well on her, but navy blue? Perfect!" Kurt said to Blaine over Skype. Kurt was telling Blaine about one of his colleagues at work. "So how have you been?" Kurt asked.

"okay" Blaine replied. In truth, he was the opposite of okay. He hadn't expected Kurt to Skype call him tonight. He would've refused the call, and just told Kurt that he was tired(he could barely keep his eyes open), but he wanted to make sure that he didn't stuff this up with Kurt. He wanted to make sure that if Kurt needed him, for anything at all, he would be there for him. The reason why Blaine had thought about refusing Kurt's call, was because his dad had punched him in the head, hard. This was the norm for Blaine(getting beaten up by his dad), but he'd never told Kurt. Thankfully, Blaine had managed to stay awake, and not lose consciousness. He had a massive egg on his head, and a cut that still hadn't stopped bleeding. He was currently covering it up with an over-sized beanie.

"Just a bit tired". Blaine's speech sounded a bit better(it had sounded a bit slurred before), but now Blaine was having to fight the urge to throw up.

"Alright, well, I just felt like talking to you, hope I haven't kept you up or anything" Kurt responded.

"No, no, it's fine. I always love talking to you" Blaine reassured him. "I'm glad that we're friends again. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay, talk to you then. Bye"

"Bye, love you" Blaine said, just as Kurt's screen went black, him having ended the call. Blaine was glad that he and Kurt were talking again. Those first few weeks after it happened, of desperately trying to call Kurt, of saying he was sorry at least ten times a day, of feeling a loathing of himself that was far too strong; had almost driven Blaine over the edge. He was proud of himself for getting through it, and not resorting to old…'habits'. But Blaine also knew that whatever he was feeling, Kurt would be feeling a lot worse.

**This is my first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh :) I don't know how long this story is going to end up; I've written about the first 5 chapters (I was a bit of a wuss and didn't have the guts to post this story until now), so hopefully, I'll have those up shortly. I hope you guys like it :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hi guys! So here's chapter 2. I realised that chapter 1 was a bit short, so I made this chapter a bit longer. Anyways, hope you like it! I don't own glee or any of the characters mentioned. **

Three weeks after that Skype call. Blaine still hadn't told Kurt that he couldn't remember. He wondered if his dad had hit him a little harder than he'd first thought, and so he had a bit of memory loss. But it wasn't just memory loss. Blaine had never been able to remember what had happened. He distinctly remembered waking up, and immediately panicking, for a split second he hadn't known where he was. Then he had remembered where he was, and started panicking even more. He remembered travelling to Elli's, with the idea that he and Elli would just talk, maybe watch a movie. But he couldn't remember anything else, until waking up and immediately panicking and praying that he was in a dream…

Blaine sighed. No matter how much he wished it was just a dream (a very bad dream, but just a dream), there was a part of him that knew that he wouldn't wake up and realise that it was just a dream. He had screwed up. He had made a mistake. And that mistake had cost him his relationship with Kurt. Yes, he and Kurt were talking again, maybe they were even friends; but Blaine knew that they would probably never be as close as they were. _Blaine, just tell Kurt. Maybe he could help_, Blaine thought. Maybe he could help. But what if he couldn't? That would just make their relationship a whole lot more complicated than it already was, as Kurt would then know about it.

A week later

Blaine was still debating whether to tell Kurt. _Should I tell him? Should I not tell him? What will happen when he finds out? What would happen if he doesn't find out? _Blaine thought he knew the answer to that last question. Kurt and he may grow close together in time, but there would always be a distance between them. Another obstacle Blaine would encounter was that Kurt was bound to ask questions about 'that night'; questions which Blaine wouldn't be able to answer.

Soon, Blaine realised that if he didn't tell Kurt now, unless they agreed to never speak to each other again, Kurt was bound to find out the truth eventually. Blaine also knew that, if their relationship was eventually going to be repaired, it would be better if he told Kurt sooner rather than later.

_But what will he think? _I_ don't even know what to think!_ Eventually, Blaine decided to call Kurt; if he decided that he didn't have the guts to tell Kurt, he could say to Kurt that he was calling to say 'hi'.

"Hey Blaine," Kurt answered after two rings.

"Hi Kurt," Blaine said, trying to sound normal. _Maybe I won't tell him. When you have a big secret, it's always best to keep it a secret right? God Blaine, take a deep breath and calm down, or Kurt will think you're having a panic attack_(he actually sort of was having a panic attack, but oh well).

"So how've you been?" Kurt asked, a little put off by the…panic (?), in Blaine's voice.

"Um, I'm-I'm ok" Blaine said. _Alright, I think it's best if I don't tell him. This is the kind of thing that you tell someone face to face. Oh god, what am I doing? Why am I calling him again? Why would I call him in the first place? This was a stupid idea._"erm, how've you been?"

"I'm good. Blaine, are you ok? You sound like you're panicking," Kurt stated. _He was actually quite accurate, _Blaine thought. _I am panicking. God, Kurt could always read him like a book. _

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit stressed out with school and stuff; and I felt like talking to you." Blaine said quickly.

"alright" Kurt said, sounding unsure. Blaine knew Kurt didn't believe him. "Blaine, if something's wrong and you need to tell someone about it, you know you can always talk to me about it. If you ha- never mind." _If you had simply talked to someone, then we wouldn't have broken up._ Even though Kurt didn't say that sentence, Blaine still heard it.

"Look, Kurt, don't worry about it. _(why would you say that Blaine? Now that you've said that, of course he's going to worry about it) _I just felt like saying hi."

"Alright, I'm a bit busy at work, but we can talk later, ok? I'll talk to you then."

"ok, I'll talk to you then. Love you" Blaine said.

"love you too," Kurt whispered before hanging up the phone. '_Love you too'? Sure, it was only a whisper, but Kurt still said it aloud none the less. Did Kurt love him? Well, of course Kurt loves you! _Blaine thought to himself. _You're best friends. So of course he loves you. But does he love me in a best-friend way or a love-of-my-life way? Blaine, calm down! Kurt probably doesn't even know the answer to that at the moment, so leave it alone._

Then suddenly, Blaine had an idea. _Maybe I can get the answer to this, and THEN tell Kurt. Sure, it might turn out that it was just a hook up and for some random reason I can't remember, but at least then I'll know. There won't be any doubt, and I'll hopefully be able to finally understand, and accept what happened and move on. Wait- where does he live again? How do I not know where Elli lives?! God, this is confusing. Wait, _Blaine paused. _He said on Facebook where he lives. _

_Alright, got the address. Now all I have to do is go there and ask him. Sounds easy enough… Oh Honestly Blaine, stop being such a wimp. Just get it over and done with_.

A little while later

_Should I or Shouldn't I?_ Blaine was debating. He knew that he should, that he would most likely get the answer (though not definitely) by doing this, and that if he didn't do this, he would most likely always wonder about what could have been. But as he stood on the doorsteps of Elli's house, he had a dim feeling of…fear? Why would he fear trying to talk to Elli? He finally decided that he had nothing to lose, and rang the doorbell.

"Hi, um, I'm Blaine Anderson, we…-I think we hooked up a while ago?" Blaine said timidly to Elli.

"Right; I don't really remember you" Elli said.

"You don't!? Blaine said, somewhat excitedly. Maybe it was a dream after all.

"Well, I vaguely remember, but what I did with you wasn't out of the ordinary for me. We're teenagers; it was just another hook-up, right?"

"Well, I had a boyfriend at the time" Blaine said quietly. "So it was just a hook-up then?" Blaine asked.

'Yeah, why are you asking all these questions, anyway?" Elli asked suspiciously.

"No particular reason. Well, bye." Blaine said quickly, before hurrying off to his car.

Blaine sat in his car, thinking. To Elli, it was just a harmless hook-up. To him, it signified the end of the world. It was so tempting to tell Kurt. To tell him everything; but he couldn't. As Blaine was thinking this, he glanced out the window, and saw someone entering Elli's house.

Blaine wasn't close enough to see exactly who it was, but it they did not look like anyone he had seen before.

**A/N If you want a certain song to be included, just say that in a review or pm me, and I'll try and include that song. Chapter 3 will hopefully be up in a few days, as long as I stay organized with my hw and stuff :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N So here's chapter 3! Keep in mind that I'm not a doctor, so the symptoms and stuff that I mention are based on my personal experiences. Anyway, enjoy!**

Then Blaine got an idea into his head. Maybe if he listened to their conversation, he could get some answers. It wouldn't hurt to listen in after all. Actually it could hurt. What if the answer was so painful that Blaine couldn't take it? Or what if there was no answer at all, and that all along, it had been a seemingly harmless hook-up with a random stranger. They had left the fly-wire door open and it wasn't a very big house, so as long as they were downstairs, he would be able to hear them. Blaine went up, next to the door, and listened. As Blaine listened, he was able to just make their conversation.

"Dude, I understand how you feel and all that, but at least TRY and control yourself." Someone, presumably the stranger Blaine saw; said.

"I swear I'll never do anything like this again" Elli said. What was it that he would never do again?

The other man sighed. "Alright, as long as you never do this again, it will be fine. I'm surprised none of the guys have said anything about it. It's been months."

"The guys haven't said anything because..." Elli trailed off.

"Because what?" the other man demanded.

"Because they were unconscious" Elli said reluctantly. _UNCONSCIOUS!? Blaine thought._

"You knocked all of them out?" the stranger asked, clearly confused.

"No, I gave them a drug which made them unconscious. That's why none of them have said anything about what happened." Elli said. _Don't throw up Blaine. They may not be talking about you; maybe they're talking about some other people, yeah maybe. Either way, don't throw up, or they'll know you're here._

"Jeez man, look, I understand that you have…urges, but seriously. You could get into big trouble for this! And so could I, seeing as I know about it. One of them is going to figure it out eventually, what are you going to do then? The guys don't remember what happened, but you can't rely on that keeping you out of trouble. If any of them were smart, they would have told someone, and eventually they'll put the pieces together."

"What should I do?"

"We're both going to get out of here. We'll pack some things, and move away from this neighbourhood," the stranger said. Even though the two men carried on with their conversation, Blaine had decided that he had heard enough. Blaine got up (he had sat down, as his legs had started to feel like they would give way), and started walking as fast as he could. He didn't know where he was going; he just wanted to get away. He would run, but he still felt like he was going to be sick, and he felt vaguely like he was going to faint.

After a little while, Blaine found himself outside a familiar house, with its familiar garden and its familiar path leading to the front door. Why he went to Kurt's house, he had no idea. Kurt probably wasn't even there. At this point, Blaine didn't care who was home, as long as someone was home. He slowly walked up the path, and rang the doorbell. _Please someone answer, please someone answer, please someone answer. _Just then, Blaine noticed that he was sweating a lot. _Wait, why am I sweating so much? It's not a particularly hot day, after all. Oh god, what if I'm really sick? Please, someone just answer the door. _To Blaine's relief, the door finally opened, to reveal Burt standing there.

"Good afternoon, sorry to keep you waiting- oh Blaine, it's you. Are you alright? You look as white as a sheet, and you're covered in sweat," Burt stated. By now, the ground was beginning to sway beneath Blaine's feet, and everything was a reddish blur.

"Burt, I-I'm-" Blaine couldn't say anymore, for he felt himself falling forwards. Luckily, Burt caught him before he hit the ground.

"Blaine? I think you're a bit sick; I'm going to carry you to the couch, okay?" Burt said, worriedly. Blaine tried to nod, but only just managed to get his head to nod. _Why does my head feel so heavy? _ Blaine could feel Burt picking him up, and carrying him, presumably, to the couch. He felt himself being placed on the couch. _This is better, _Blaine thought. _It's so relaxing to just lie here. I feel sleepy…sleep, yeah, nice sleep…_

Burt worriedly watched as the boy quickly fell asleep. _Should I let him sleep? Is it a good thing that he's sleeping? What if he's really sick, and he never wakes up. Then it'd be all my fault for letting him sleep._ Burt decided to call Carol, seeing as she's a nurse, so if there was something wrong with Blaine, she would hopefully be able to tell him what to do.

"Hi Carole. Blaine just showed up at my door."

"the same Blaine that was with Kurt?"

"yes, the same one. Um, I think he's a bit sick."

After Burt described Blaine's symptoms, Carole said, "There is most likely nothing seriously wrong, although I won't know for sure until I see him myself. It sounds to me like he is exhausted, and a bit dehydrated and underfed. It's up to you whether you wake him up, although if you decide to let him sleep, make sure you wake him up after an hour at the most. When he does wake up, make sure you get him to eat something, and make sure he has something to drink. I don't think anything's seriously wrong, just make sure you keep checking his pulse, and keep checking that he's breathing properly. And Burt; just relax. As far as I can tell, Blaine's fine. I'll be home soon, so I'll be able to properly check on him then. I'll you soon, honey."

"ok, thanks. See you then. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye", Burt said. He smiled to himself; Carole always knew what to do. He looked over at Blaine. _He looks so peaceful, _Burt thought. _I think I'll just let him sleep, it'd be a shame to wake him up, right at the moment. He's like a son to me,_ Burt thought. Then something suddenly occurred to him. _If Blaine's sick, why is here? Why isn't he at home with his own parents?_ Suddenly, everything seemed to become a lot more complicated than it was 5 seconds ago.

Burt decided that he would find the answers to those questions, once Blaine woke up. In the meantime, he turned on the TV; he made sure to turn the sound down so as not to wake Blaine. There was a football game on, so Burt decided to watch that, even though he didn't go for either team playing. After about half an hour of watching the game, Blaine started waking up.

**So there's chapter 3! Chapter 4 will be up ASAP**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Hi guys, so here's chapter 4! I'm sorry it took so long to update, I've just been really busy with homework and stuff. Anyway, thank you to everyone who is following/and or favourited this story! Also, there is a person who keeps commenting on the chapters of this story, and all you say is a question mark, and I don't think you're registered or something, as I can't reply to your comment; Anyway, I don't know what you mean, or what you are referring to, so if you could tell me what you're wondering or whatever, I might be able to tell you the answer:) So yeah, enjoy!**

Blaine heard voices. _Why are they talking so quietly? _Blaine thought. _Wait, they're actually not talking _that _quietly. It sounds like someone is watching a game of football. _Then Blaine remembered what had happened before he had drifted off to sleep. _Oh god_ Blaine thought. He had been wishing that that had been a dream, although deep down, Blaine knew that it hadn't been a dream. _I may as well open my eyes. _Surprisingly, it took Blaine quite a lot of effort to get his eyes open. After two failed attempts, Blaine finally managed to get his eyes open, only to shut them again straight away, due to the brightness of the lights. He opened his eyes again, this time, a bit more carefully.

"Blaine! I'm glad that you're awake. How are you feeling?" Burt asked, cheerfully.

"Um, I feel a bit better, although I am quite thirsty."

"Alright, well, you stay there. I'll just grab you a glass of water, okay?" Blaine nodded. As Burt got up and went to get Blaine a glass of water, Blaine suddenly had a brief flashback.

_Flashback_

_"Burt, I need to talk to you."_

_"Look, Blaine, I'm busy at the moment" Burt said rather stiffly. Obviously, Burt still hadn't forgiven Blaine for what he'd done to Kurt (it'd been a month), but Blaine wasn't going to let that stop him from talking to Burt. Burt was like the father Blaine never had._

_"Burt, I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to be. But I need to talk to you, please!" Blaine said desperately. He didn't really want to tell Burt about the fact that he couldn't remember cheating on his son, but he thought that it wouldn't hurt to at least, confide in him a little bit. Blaine really wanted to confide in someone, at least. _

_Burt sighed. "Alright, what is it?"_

_"Have you ever had memory loss? Like, say you were just, you know, having a good time with…"(Blaine tried to think of a word that was related to what he was trying to say, but not so related that Burt would guess what happened)"a relative"(Him and Kurt had been planning on marrying each other, so Kurt could sort of still be considered a relative right?) "And you found that you suddenly couldn't remember what had happened?" Blaine asked, timidly. He looked at Burt's reaction to his strange question. Oddly enough, Burt wasn't looking at Blaine like he thought Blaine was crazy. He was looking at Blaine with a thoughtful expression. _Oh no, _Blaine thought. _What if he guesses what happened? And then he'll ask me about it, I'm not _that_ good a liar!

_"No, I can't say that I have, Blaine. Is there a particular reason why you asked me this? I'm not trying to be rude, but it's a strange question to randomly ask out of the blue. Is it for a school project or something?"_

_"Yes!" Blaine said, sounding a little too enthusiastic. "Yes, it's for a school project! Thank you anyway, bye." Blaine said, trying to act normal. _

_End of flashback_

Blaine sighed. _Should I tell him? But what would he say?! Maybe he'll understand, _Blaine thought. _But what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't understand?_ As Blaine was pondering that, Burt came back, carrying a glass of water for Blaine.

"Here you go. Make sure you don't drink it too fast, or you'll choke," Burt said to Blaine. Blaine took the glass from Burt, and started drinking it, making that he didn't drink it too fast. Once Blaine had drained the glass, Burt spoke up,

"So Blaine, you want to tell me why you showed up here, looking as white as a ghost?"

Blaine quickly thought of his answer. "Um…I was going for a walk and I suddenly felt really sick; I noticed that your house was nearby, so I came here." Blaine said, perhaps a little too quickly. _Wow, I must say, my lying skills have definitely improved._ Blaine looked over at Burt, whom he noticed was watching him thoughtfully.

"Really?" Burt asked. Blaine looked at him, trying to hide the feeling of panic which was slowly gathering inside him. He couldn't decide whether to tell Burt or not. "Well-n-ye,um…" Blaine stuttered, undecided on what to say. Blaine then realised, a second too late, that he had just given Burt the answer.

Burt smiled knowingly. "It's ok, if you want to tell me, you can tell me when you're ready. I'm not going to push you," Burt said, trying to sound comforting. He was never particularly good at the emotional stuff; he had gotten better where Kurt was concerned, but anybody else? Forget it!

Blaine slowly nodded.

"Are you hungry? Do you want some food?" Burt asked, trying to make the situation less awkward. At the mention food, Blain's stomach lurched unpleasantly.

"Um, no thank you. I think I'll just lie here for a while," Blaine said.

"alright, you don't mind if I keep on the TV turned on, do you?"

"no, it's fine," Blaine said. He and Burt started watching the football game, which was playing on the TV. Blaine didn't particularly like football, and so, didn't go for either team playing. However, Burt seemed to go for one of the teams playing, as he shouted "yes!" loudly, when his team scored a goal and cursed softly, when the other team scored a goal; so Blaine decided to go for that team. As Blaine silently watched the TV, he started thinking about everything. _What's going to happen now? He know's something's amiss, and I can't keep it a secret from him forever. But once Burt finds out, he'll tell Kurt, and then what will happen?! _As Blaine was thinking this, there was a knock at the door. Burt got up to answer it. When he opened the door, he saw his son's face staring back at him.

"Kurt?"

**A/N I realize this chapter is not very long, and I'm sorry, I just felt like i had to get something up(finally). Next chapter will be up ASAP**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N So here's chapter 5! Once again, thank you to everyone who has favourited/is following/ reviewed this story! I've got 50 followers on this story, so extra huge thank you to everyone who is following this story! :) Anyway, this chapter, it's not gloomy I don't think, but it's quite emotional and I got quite emotional while I was writing it as well. I'll shut up now:) so yeah, enjoy!**

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by_

"Hey Dad!" Kurt said, pulling his dad into a hug. "I decided to surprise you and come over, seeing as I'm on holidays now at Nyada," Kurt said, smiling at his Dad, who was wearing a worried expression on his face.

"It's good to see you Kurt. Um-er-there's something I have to tell you," Burt said. He saw the shocked and worried look on Kurt's face, and quickly realised what he must be thinking.

"No, it's nothing bad! I just need to tell you before you come inside," Burt said. He realised, too late, that that sentence wasn't much better than his earlier one.

"What is it, dad?"

"Um, well…Blaine may be sort of staying stay here at the moment," Burt said quickly, getting it over and done with. He watched Kurt's face carefully; it didn't give much away, although he was sure he could see some sadness in his eyes.

"Why is he staying here? Is he okay" Kurt asked finally, in a somewhat small voice. It was one thing to be okay talking to him over skype, it was quite another thing to talk to him, face to face. _No Kurt, you forgave him, remember? You forgave him a long time ago; that's the first step to moving on, whether that is with Blaine or not. Just because you've forgiven him, and he's here, doesn't mean you have to get back together with him. What did you expect anyway? You came back here; of course you were going to speak to him, face to face, at one time or another. _As Kurt was thinking this, Burt quickly reassured Kurt,

"He's fine, he's just a bit sick. In answer to your first question, I don't know. He showed up, and he looked really sick, so I offered him to stay here for a little while," Burt said, not sure how Kurt would react to his words. Surprisingly, Kurt didn't ask the obvious question (if he's sick, why isn't he at his parents' house?); he just nodded thoughtfully and headed inside.

"Hey Blaine, I-" Kurt stopped abruptly in his tracks, noticing how pale Blaine was. Blaine was currently lying on the couch, looking quite pale, and, Kurt noticed was also sweating, like he'd just gone for a run or something. "Blaine, are you alright?" Kurt asked, looking concerned.

"A bit sick," Blaine said. _Why did Kurt have to come now? Today of all days! _Blaine loved seeing Kurt, but he didn't know what he was going to say to him, or to anybody for that matter. _Oh god, this has changed everything._

"Would you boys like a cup of tea? I'm about to make myself one, so it's no trouble," Burt said, awkwardly breaking the silence, which had descended upon the situation.

"Yes please," they both said together. Once the tea had been made, both boys sat on the couch, slowly sipping their tea.

"Hey, do you want to watch something? I finally got Les Miserables on DVD, and I've got it in my bag; so do you want to watch that?" Kurt asked, knowing how much watching musicals makes Blaine feel better. Blaine nodded, so Kurt went and got the movie out of his bag and very soon, both boys were watching the movie.

When the movie got to the song, 'I dreamed a dream', Blaine suddenly deeply regretted watching this with Kurt. He had watched this before, and had cried a bit, but this time was different. As he listened to the intro of 'I dreamed a dream', Blaine tried desperately to hold himself together; this song in this movie was bringing up memories which he had tried so desperately to forget, or at least, not think about

_There was a time when men were kind _

Yes, thought Blaine. There was a time when men were kind…

_When their voices were soft_

_And their words inviting_

And their words were inviting (while listening to this, Blaine thought of Elli)

_There was a time when love was blind_

_And the world was a song_

When I was with Kurt, the world felt like a song, a happy song, complete with a happy ending. Now his life felt like this sad song, complete with its sad ending. Who am I kidding? I haven't gotten over it, oh god.

_And the song was exciting_

His life had felt so exciting; Blaine distinctly remembered the first month or so, post breakup. When all that excitement had gone out of his life

_There was a time_

_Then it all went wrong_

Yes, thought Blaine. And then it all went wrong

Blaine could feel tears running down his face; he glanced at Kurt and noticed that Kurt's eyes were filled with tears. _It's a sad song, it's a sad movie, and, unfortunately, it's very relatable for you both; it's alright to cry. _And so he did.

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by_

_When hope was high_

_And life worth living_

Back when life was worth living, back when he was with Kurt. Blaine, Kurt's right here, just calm down, you're alright, you're okay, calm down, that's never an option, there is always a way, there is always something. Oh god, I'm not okay

_I dreamed that love would never die _

I dreamed that our love would never die, but it did. No Blaine, your love didn't die, it will never die. Kurt will love you, and you will love him, until your dying days.

_I dreamed that God would be forgiving_

_Then I was young and unafraid_

_And dreams were made and used and wasted_

_There was no ransom to be paid_

Ransom to be paid, _no, don't think about that Blaine. Don't think about what Fantine went through, don't try to picture it, it'll only make you feel sick_

_No song unsung, no wine untasted_

That juice that Elli gave me was dark enough in colour to resemble wine, Blaine thought. It had a strange taste as well.

But the tigers come at night

_With their voices soft as thunder_

Blaine could practically hear Elli's voice, Elli's soft voice. Blaine felt a weird mixture of sadness and nausea._  
As they tear your hope apart_

_As they turn your dream to shame  
_That last part really got Blaine. His dream had been turned to shame. Elli was the tiger, yet, in a way, he himself was the tiger. No Blaine, Elli did that, not you, you would have said "no", had he given you the chance.

_He slept a summer by my side_

Blaine remembered the first he summer he spent together with Kurt

_He filled my days with endless wonder_

Yes, he did; thought Blaine

_He took my childhood in his stride_

He never quite knew about my childhood, but if I had had the guts to tell him, he would have accepted it, Blaine thought

_But he was gone when autumn came_

And of course, he and Kurt had broken up in autumn.

_And still I dream he'll come to me_

That line speaks for itself

_That we will live the years together_

I had planned to live the coming years together with Kurt, Blaine thought to himself.

_But there are dreams that cannot be_

And my dream was one of those…

_And there are storms we cannot weather_

Yes, thought Blaine. Love is certainly a storm that we cannot weather

_I had a dream my life would be_

_So different from this hell I'm living_

_So different now from what it seemed_

_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed._

Now Life has killed the dream I dreamed

When the song finished, both boys were in tears. Kurt sat there thinking._ I'm ready, _he thought. _I'm ready to tell Blaine that I forgive him._ _Life's too short to hold grudges, especially grudges against your soul mate, life hasn't killed my dream yet. _But as Kurt looked at Blaine, ready to tell him what he was thinking, any potential words were immediately silenced by the look on Blaine's face. There were tears streaming down his face, even more so than Kurt's, but what was particularly surprising was the look of sadness, and hopelessness on his face. Kurt just sat there, staring. _Why is he so sad? We broke up, and it was hard, and there was a time when I wasn't sure if I could get through it, but I did. And we're best friends again, so why is he so sad? Has something happened? _ Kurt wanted Blaine to know that he was here for him, and to know that whatever it was, he wasn't alone; keeping all this in mind, Kurt gently slid his hand into Blaine's. Blaine looked at him, a sad smile appearing on his face, despite all the tears that were running down it. Blaine in return, grasped Kurt's hand, and the boys sat there, holding hands, both trying not to cry too hard.

When the movie finished, both boys just sat there silently. Blaine suddenly felt very tired; he felt his eyes begin to droop. "-ood night," Blaine managed to say to Kurt, as his eyes closed.

Kurt smiled at Blaine, as he watched Blaine's eyes drift shut. As Kurt got up from the couch, it occurred to him that Blaine would be very sore in the morning, if he slept in the position which he was currently sleeping in; so Kurt, very gently, moved Blaine into a more comfortable position. Once he had done that, Kurt gently squeezed Blaine's hand. "Good night Blaine," Kurt whispered, before heading upstairs to his bedroom.

**A/N So that's chapter 5. I haven't started writing chapter 6 yet, so it might be a little while, but I should have it up within a week if I stay organised **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N So here's chapter 6! I'm sorry it took so long, just been really busy with school and whatnot, but I managed to get some writing done:) Once again, thank you to everyone who is following/has favourited/reviewed this story! Means a lot; anyways, enjoy!**

_Go to sleep my little baby_

"Kurt, there's-there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kurt asked, perhaps a little too eagerly, but oh well; he was finally going to find out. Deep down, his conscience had always known that something was wrong with Blaine. Even when Blaine had told him that he "was with someone", he had subconsciously noted that there was something wrong, that there was more to it, he just hadn't acknowledged that little fact, and, to be fair, he had been a little distracted.

"Kurt, I-" Kurt woke up with a start. _Damn it! I was just about to find out what is happened to Blaine! Because, there's no denying it; something bad has definitely happened to Blaine. There were those bruises (Kurt had vaguely noticed them when Blaine had come to New York, and occasionally, Kurt would notice a bruise or two on Blaine's arms, although he'd never thought much about it; Blaine had told Kurt that he does boxing, so occasionally he gets bruises; but now, Kurt wasn't so sure whether he believed that story) for one, and for another, why had Blaine gotten so upset while watching Les Mis last night? And it wasn't just the fact that he'd gotten particularly upset, it was the look of sadness, and even hopelessness etched on his face. _

Kurt then heard a thumping noise coming from down stairs. He noticed that it was still dark outside, evidently it was very early in the morning; _so what on earth was that?_ Then he heard it again, and again. Kurt immediately got out of bed, and crept downstairs. He walked into the living room, in which Blaine was in, and saw Blaine thrashing around, obviously having a nightmare. _I should wake him up_, Kurt thought after a moment of watching Blaine. Kurt was about to wake Blaine up, when Blaine started talking, or rather, pleading, in his sleep, "No, please no, stop it. Stop it!" Blaine pleaded.

"Blaine, wake up," Kurt said, gently shaking Blaine; however, Blaine didn't wake up.

"Please stop, please, I don't want this, please!" When Kurt heard that he frowned, or, frowned even more than he already was. 'I don't want this'? What was that about? Granted, Blaine was quite obviously having a nightmare, so it COULD only be a dementor or something, but then again, it might actually be something, or someone, that is actually in Blaine's life right now, and is causing that pain that he was dreaming about. As Kurt was pondering this, Blaine suddenly thrashed to the side and in doing so, fell off the couch, and landed on the floor with a thump.

"Oh my god, Blaine, wake up!" Kurt almost shouted.

Finally Blaine opened his eyes, and found himself staring directly into those beautiful eyes he knew only too well. "Kurt?" Blaine asked. _Why is Kurt helping me? Where am I!? Oh wait, I'm at Kurt's house. _Blaine was still shaking, and, Kurt noticed, was covered in sweat. Kurt was also shocked to see that there were tears in Blaine's eyes, and a couple were making their way down his face.

Kurt, not knowing what else to do, put his arm around Blaine, and tried to reassure him, "Hey, it was just a nightmare, it's okay, it's okay," Kurt said, rubbing Blaine's back in, what he hoped, was a soothing way. However, even after he did this, Kurt noticed that Blaine was still shaking, tears were still slowly running down his face, and, Kurt noticed and immediately felt an ounce of panic, Blaine's breathing had become slightly wheezy; Kurt knew that Blaine suffered from mild asthma. "Blaine?" Kurt asked tentatively. "Do you need your puffer?" Blaine shook his head, but Kurt could hear that his breathing was still wheezy.

"Blaine, I need you to take deep breaths, okay? In (breathe in), out (breath out), in (breathe in), out (breathe out), I'll do them with you. In, out, in, out. That's it, in, out, in, out. That's it, you're doing well, in, out, in, out," Kurt said, trying to sound reassuring and confident, even though inside, he wasn't particularly sure of what he was doing; the only reason he knew to tell Blaine to take deep breaths was because Blaine had told him what to do, in the event that he suffered an asthma attack while with Kurt.

After a few more minutes of breathing exercises, Blaine's breathing evened out, much to Kurt's relief. However, his eyes were still full of tears.

"I'm okay," Blaine croaked, his voice sounding a little hoarse. "Kurt?"

"Yes Blaine?"

"Thank you."

Kurt smiled at Blaine, "Your welcome." As Kurt got up to leave, Blaine put his hand out to stop him,

"Can you stay with me? Please?" Blaine asked, eyes pleading with Kurt. Kurt smiled at Blaine,

"Sure, would you like me to sing you to sleep?" Blaine grinned,

"You know me too well." As Blaine got back onto the couch, and settled himself into a comfortable position, Kurt started to sing,

_Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep you little baby.  
When you wake you shall have  
All the pretty little horses._

Blaine felt his eyes go heavy, all the while listening Kurt sing.

_Black and bays, dapples and grays,  
All the pretty little horses._

_Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep you little baby.  
When you wake you shall have,  
All the pretty little horses._  
Do Angels exist? Blaine thought, as he felt his eyes drift closed. If they do, Kurt could totally be one of them

_Go to sleep my little baby_

Once he finished singing, Kurt listened to the sound of Blaine's breathing, and sighed with relief when he heard only even breaths. He didn't particularly want to have another experience of seeing his boyfriend in the hospital. Then Kurt realised that he had referred to Blaine as his boyfriend, and also "my little baby" in the words to the lullaby he just sang to Blaine. _Kurt, stop denying yourself this, just admit it! _Kurt thought to himself. _I'm still in love with Blaine, and I still wish that he was my boyfriend, there, I said it, or at least, thought it. How is this going to work? What are we going to do? What am I going to do? _

As Kurt was thinking this, he went to get up and head back upstairs, only to realise that Blaine's hand was still clasped tightly around his own. Then Kurt remembered that Blaine had been having a nightmare. _It wouldn't do any harm to sleep with Blaine on the couch, right? I'll be right there, in case he has another nightmare, and it might make him feel better. _With that final thought, Kurt lay down on the couch next to Blaine (it was a big couch); he hesitated, before putting his arms around Blaine, and slowly drifted off to sleep. _Go to sleep my little baby._

**So that's chapter 6! The song is 'all the pretty little horses' and it is not actually known who wrote it, or who the original singer was. Anyway, I thought it was appropriate so I included it in this chapter. I feel like not much happened in this chapter, sorry about that, I assure you that more will happen in the next chapter. So until then, :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N So, I was bored, and plus I wanted an excuse to write more fanfic (not that I need an excuse), so yeah, I've updated early! (very exciting I know, lol, I'm kidding). So anyway, I quite enjoyed writing this chapter; it may seem like not much happens in this chapter, but this chapter is quite important, as it sets things in motion *evil grin. Once again, thank you to everyone who is following/has favorited/has reviewed this story (don't be afraid to do those things by the way), and extra special thank you for all the kind reviews! They make my day, so don't be afraid to leave a review! Anyway, here's chapter 7! Enjoy:)**

_Wish I'd never grown up_

When Blaine woke up the next morning from a nice, nightmare-free sleep; he found a pair of arms wrapped tightly around him. For a moment, Blaine panicked (understandable, considering), not knowing who the person was, and fearing that it was Elli; however, he relaxed when he realized that the pair of arms belonged to Kurt. For a moment, Blaine lay there, completely relaxed and at peace; however, that moment passed, and soon his brain started asking somewhat unwelcome questions.

_Why is Kurt sleeping with me on the couch? _(Not that Blaine particularly minded) _Why is even doing this? He shouldn't be helping me! _Then Blaine remembered the nightmare he had had the night before. _Has he figured it out? Oh god… Stop it Blaine! Just relax and enjoy the moment! You're fine!_ Blaine took a deep breath, and tried to relax; slowly, but certainly, he allowed himself to relax into Kurt's arms and just let go of all the things that were worrying him. Blaine simply laid there, smiling to himself.

After a few minutes, Kurt started waking up. _Why am I sleeping next to Blaine on the couch? Oh yeah, that nightmare…what was that about? _Kurt made a mental note to ask Blaine about it later. Kurt then realized that Blaine was awake. "Morning, I don't know about you, but I'm starving; do you want some breakfast?" Kurt said, as he got up off the couch.

"Good morning, and yes, I would love some breakfast, do you mind if I have a shower?" Blaine asked timidly.

"Of course not, go ahead, just try not to take all the hot water," Kurt said, smiling at Blaine. Blaine smiled back, before going up the stairs towards the shower. _How much does he know? Or more importantly, how much has he guessed?! Come on Blaine, just relax! Just ask Kurt, or better yet, tell Kurt about it, stop being such a wimp. _Blaine sighed, it was one thing to be told, or tell yourself, to suck it up, and get over it, it was quite another thing to actually suck it up and get over it; it's like depression, you can't just tell someone to stop being depressed, and expect that they're going to stop being depressed, just like you can't just tell yourself to stop being depressed; it's a lot more complicated than that.

As Blaine got to the shower and got himself undressed, he glanced at himself in the mirror, and suddenly thought about where Elli must have touched him. Just even thinking about it made Blaine feel sick and unclean, _just don't think about it, you're with Kurt now, he won't hurt you. Just focus on Kurt._ Apart from the fact that Kurt was a bit of a reminder of what had happened with Elli, thinking about Kurt did cheer Blaine up. He thought about the way that Kurt had seemed rather cheerful when he saw him the previous evening, how he had held his hand while watching Les Miserables, how Kurt had sang him to sleep after that awful nightmare he had had. Blaine, determined to focus on Kurt, hopped into the shower, and tried to stop his thoughts from wondering into certain forbidden areas of his mind; those areas, like the dark forest in Harry Potter, were forbidden, yet, they were still visited often.

Once Blaine got dressed, after having his shower, he took a deep breath to calm himself down, and headed downstairs

As Blaine walked into the kitchen, he vaguely noticed that Kurt had turned the TV on, and that there was some cartoon show on. Blaine smiled to himself; Kurt always loved those kids' shows. Now that Kurt was on holidays, he would most likely watch those cartoons every morning. _That's right; I'm on holidays,_ Blaine remembered. _Thank god for that, considering…, Blaine! Stop thinking about it! Just don't think about it, just forget about it! I'll never be able to forget about it, _Blaine thought sadly. _Every time I go on Facebook, I'll be reminded of it…Blaine, stop it! Kurt, think about Kurt!_

"My Dad's already gone to work, by the way. Is toast fine for breakfast?" Kurt asked, thankfully interrupting Blaine's thoughts.

"Yes, thank you," Blaine said, quietly. Kurt frowned; _WHAT is going on?! The reaction to Les Mis, the nightmare and now he's hardly talking to me, and when he does, he's acting all formerly. Well, you did tell him to stop talking to you… yeah, but that was ages ago! GRRRRR. Okay Kurt, just calm down, and think logically, you can just ask Blaine about it during breakfast. Should I ask him during breakfast or after breakfast? What if it's something that shouldn't be discussed while eating?_ That very thought made Kurt's stomach churn. _Alright, it can wait until after breakfast. _

Just then, the toaster popped, indicating the boys' toast was ready. Blaine went to the cupboard, and grabbed all the ingredients which they were going to put on their toast. Kurt watched Blaine carefully, as he walked to and from the cupboard, trying to see if he was walking normally, _maybe he's injured? Maybe he's got some life threatening illness and he hasn't told me! _Kurt glanced at Blaine, trying to spot anything unusual. There wasn't anything particularly unusual in the way he walked, although he was shuffling a bit, there was not very much spring in his step. There was something else, but Kurt couldn't quite put his finger on it. _Is that a problem? Should I be worrying about that? _However, Kurt didn't have time to ponder over that, as just then, Blaine came back from his trip to the cupboard, carrying all the ingredients needed to put on the toast and set them upon the table. Once the boys finished making their toast, Blaine said, "I'm just going to get myself a glass of water, would you like me to get you one?" Blaine asked, trying to sound casual, yet even he knew that he sounded stiff and formerly; _what is wrong with me? Why can't I just snap out of it?_

"Yes please," Kurt replied, smiling gratefully at Blaine. Kurt glanced vaguely at the TV, which was now showing a news report, it was then showing a young man being taken into custody by police; the news reporter saying something about him being a rapist, the reporter said that the man was suspected of committing more crimes than they currently knew of, and that if anyone had any further information regarding the man's earlier crimes, that they should come forward. Kurt shivered. Some people are just plain horrible. Just as Kurt was thinking this, he heard the sound of a foot sliding across the floor, followed by the smash of glass hitting the tiled floor. He looked up, and saw that Blaine had slipped over, while carrying the two glasses of water. "Wow, Blaine? Are you okay?" Kurt asked, immediately getting up, and hurrying over to his boyfriend(?), who was sitting in a puddle of water and glass; Kurt also noticed that Blaine's hand had landed on a piece of glass, and was bleeding. "You've cut yourself; here, I'll help you up, and then I'll clean your cut and get you a Band-Aid, okay?" Kurt said. Blaine simply nodded. "Blaine, are you sure you're okay? You look very pale," Kurt remarked, only now noticing how pale Blaine had gone.

"-m fine," Blaine whispered. Kurt nodded, however, he still didn't believe Blaine; _he may be physically fine, but emotionally he's not, _Kurt thought. As he helped Blaine get up, he noticed that Blaine swayed a bit on the spot, Kurt grabbed him before he could topple over. "Blaine, I'm just going to take you to the sink to wash that cut on your hand, and then you can lie down okay?" Kurt said, silently starting to panic. _What is wrong with Blaine? What has happened to him?_

As Kurt washed Blaine's cut hand under the cold water, he noticed that Blaine was taking deep breaths, as if he were trying to calm himself down. Kurt sighed sadly; whatever had happened, it must have been pretty bad. Once they were done cleaning Blaine's cut, Kurt led him back to the couch, in which he had been lying on before. "Do you still want your breakfast? Or do you just want to lie down?" Kurt asked, trying to sound calm.

"-think I'll just lie down," Blaine said.

"Alright, I can leave it as it is?" Kurt asked, gesturing towards the TV. Blaine glanced at the TV; thankfully there was no longer a news report playing, instead there was another cartoon on.

"Yeah, it's fine." In truth, Blaine quite enjoyed watching cartoons, same as Kurt. Watching cartoons reminded him of when he was little, when everything was so simple and happiness was so easy to come by. That was one of the reasons why Blaine loved the song, 'never grow up', by Taylor Swift; as it expressed the emotions in which he was often feeling.

_I wish I'd never grown up_

_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_

_Could still be little_

_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_

_It could still be simple_

Kurt smiled at Blaine(Kurt was currently eating his breakfast, while sitting on the couch next to Blaine), lying peacefully on the couch, while he listened to the cartoon playing on the TV; a kid had stolen another kid's glasses, and apparently these were magic glasses, so therefore, it was essential for the kid to get them back. Kurt smiled to himself; he missed being little, when his biggest worry was whether he had remembered to bring his P.E uniform on the days that he had P.E, and when he would play in the playground at recess with the other kids, without a care in the world. Kurt smiled sadly, he missed being little. What Kurt didn't know was that at that moment, Blaine was thinking the exact same thing.

**A/N So that's chapter 7, hope you guys liked it! The song's 'never grow up' by Taylor Swift, and it is one of my favorite songs:) Chapter 8(that sounds so weird saying that I'm writing chapter 8, I never really thought this story would be this long, but don't worry; for better or for worse, I'm not thinking of ending this story any time soon:)) will hopefully be up within a week. Don't be afraid to review/follow/favorite this story! Although if you don't want to, then obviously don't :) Anyway, I'll shut up now, so until next time :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N So here's chapter 8! Massive to thank you to everyone who has favorited/is following/has reviewed this story, and an extra special thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Seriously, they make my day:) I'm assuming that you all understood what happened when Blaine slipped over, and why he did etc, if you didn't, then just ask and I'll tell you. Anyway, while you're (hopefully) reading this chapter, please keep in mind that I am not a doctor, and so I rely mainly on personal experience, common sense and the internet:) Anyways, I hope you enjoy!**

_Without my wings, I feel so small_

Once Kurt finished eating his breakfast, he sat there on the couch with Blaine, only half listening to the TV; the reason for that was because Kurt was thinking very hard. _I have to question him, and ask him what's wrong. But what if he doesn't want to answer? Blaine's not exactly the kind of person to ask for help. Or worse, what if it's something so bad that when I hear what it is, I'll wish I never asked? _ Kurt was torn, he desperately wanted to ask Blaine what was going on, but he was afraid of the response/answer he would get. _Will it be worth it? _Kurt asked himself. _Let's say the answer is so horrible that I'll wish I hadn't asked; will it be worth it, knowing what happened even though what happened might have been horrible? _Kurt decided that the answer was 'yes.' He wanted to get back together with Blaine, and to hopefully, eventually build their relationship up to what it was before he went to New York, and in order to do that, they had to stop keeping secrets from each other, and start talking to each other more, and telling the other person when something's wrong. That had been a problem with their relationship even before Kurt went to New York. _We definitely need to work on our communication, _Kurt thought.

At this moment, however, Kurt's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door being opened, and a moment later, Carole walked in, "Good morning boys, Kurt, it's so good to see you back home! And hello Blaine, how are you feeling? I'm sorry I couldn't check on you sooner, there was an emergency at the hospital, but don't worry, it's all fine now. Blaine, do you mind if you come upstairs so I can take a look at you? Kurt can come too if you want?" Carole asked Blaine. Kurt glanced at Blaine, and was glad to see that a little bit of colour had returned to his face.

"No, it's okay, Kurt can stay here. It'll only be a few minutes, right?" Blaine said, in small, yet worried voice. He desperately wanted Kurt there with him, but something held him back from asking Kurt to stay with him. _What if Kurt comes with me, and then thinks I'm weak? _Blaine thought. He did NOT want to appear weak, even to Kurt…especially to Kurt.

Carole nodded, "alright, Kurt? We'll be back down in a few minutes, okay?" Kurt nodded, watching Blaine and Carole go up the stairs. As Carole led Blaine up the stairs, Kurt waited before tip toeing upstairs after them. _He probably won't tell Carole what exactly has happened, but at least she'll be able to say whether there's something really wrong with him. He's been a bit sick lately, after all. _Kurt thought. Carole led Blaine into a spare room upstairs. As Carole went to close the door, Blaine suddenly felt very anxious about having the door closed in a small room with one other person, whom he didn't know that well. "Can you leave the door open, please?" Blaine asked, not trying to sound rude. Carole simply nodded understandingly. It vaguely occurred to Blaine's subconscious that Kurt could overhear his and Carole's inevitable conversation, but Blaine didn't really notice it, and besides, a part of him really wanted to tell Kurt what had happened, to confide in someone. Carole walked back over, and sat in the chair next to the one which Blaine was sitting next to. Carole put her hand gently on Blaine's leg, but Blaine immediately jerked away. Carole immediately apologized,

"Sorry, Blaine, I didn't mean to frighten you, honey." Blaine simply nodded. _I'm afraid to let people touch me, wait, I could handle Kurt touching me, I even enjoyed it; so why-? Because I trust Kurt more than anybody. Alright, so apart from Kurt, I'm afraid to let people touch me. Oh come on, I can't be afraid of people like that, can I? I'm not afraid, I'm just, you know...afraid. Crap. _While Blaine was thinking this, Carole started talking again. "Blaine, how have you been feeling in the past couple of days? Have you been feeling nauseous at all?" Carole asked gently.

"Yes, I have been feeling nauseous," Blaine said. He noticed that his breathing had sped up. _What if she guesses?_

"Have you found yourself sweating more than usual?" Blaine nodded. "Has your breath patterns sped up? Do you find yourself hyperventilating?" Carole asked, trying to mask the worry which was creeping into her mind. Blaine slowly nodded.

"Blaine?" Carole said, taking a deep breath. "This might seem like a strange question, or it might make you feel uncomfortable, you only have to answer 'yes' or 'no', okay?" Carole asked. Blaine nodded, silently regretting not asking Kurt to come with him. Yeah, maybe Kurt would think he was weak, and yeah, maybe Kurt would have guessed what had happened; but at least he would have had Kurt there to hold him, and tell him that everything's okay.

"Have you recently experienced a traumatic event, or have you heard some particularly disturbing news recently?" Carole asked, looking Blaine into Blaine's eyes as she asked. Blaine looked back at her, he couldn't decide whether to say 'no' or 'yes'. _Go on Blaine; just tell her, _the voice in his head said gently. Blaine desperately wanted to simply say 'yes', but for some reason, he couldn't, there was that underlying fear of what other people would think. The logical part of his mind was telling him one thing and the emotional part of his mind was telling him another. Carole, however, seemed to understand what was going on, for she said, "Alright, how about this? If your answer is 'yes', you blink once, and if your answer is 'no', you wink once." Carole said, although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. After a few moments of debating with himself, Blaine managed to make himself blink once. Carole thought fast, she knew better than to ask Blaine what exactly this traumatic event had been, but she still wanted Blaine to at least get checked out.

"Alright, you're going to be alright, Blaine, things will get better. At the moment, honey, I think you're in shock; how do you feel about seeing a doctor?" Carole asked kindly. _What? How can I be in Shock? Wouldn't I have known if I was in shock? I may have been feeling sick for the past 24 hours, and anxious and sweating and bit dizzy and light-headed, and feeling a bit like I'm going to faint, but apart from that…crap, I'm in shock._

"Would they ask lots of questions?" Blaine asked timidly. At first, Blaine had felt proud of himself for making himself tell Carole. Then he remembered that all he'd done was blink. _Such a great achievement, you managed to blink._ He told himself that at least it was a start.

Once Carole and Blaine came back downstairs, Carole vaguely noted that Kurt was puffing, like he'd just done a bit of running, however, she also knew that now wasn't the time to lecture Kurt; so Carole simply told Kurt that she was going to take Blaine to the hospital, simply to just check that everything was okay; and asked if Kurt wanted to come too. She knew that she would have to ask Kurt, and Blaine, about certain things later on, but right now, that could wait. When Carole asked, Kurt immediately nodded; he was not going to miss a chance to be there for Blaine in a situation where Blaine might need him. At the mention of hospital, Kurt had immediately started to panic, however, when Carole explained that it was just to make sure that everything was okay, and there was most definitely physical wrong, Kurt relaxed a little, although not fully.

* * *

A little while later, as Carole drove to the hospital, she let her mind jump to the conclusion that it had unwelcomely made before. _Has Blaine been sexually assaulted? The way he flinched when I touched him. But that still doesn't quite explain why he's acting the way he is. He seems to be in psychological shock, the kind when someone has heard some very disturbing news about a family member or something, he would be acting different if he had been sexually assaulted, although everyone is different. It doesn't make sense! _

Meanwhile, Kurt also let his mind wonder. In a way, Kurt was glad that Blaine's sickness was explained, however, that didn't stop him worrying. _Why was Blaine in shock?! If it was that bad, surely Blaine would have told me? 'Maybe he thought that he couldn't come to you with this, you guys aren't boyfriend and boyfriend anymore after all'_ a voice told him. But what would be so bad that it would leave him in a state of shock?

**A/N So that was chapter 8!(obviously) Anyway, chapter 9 will be up some time in the near future, although I've got exams soon, so I'm going to be quite busy, so we'll just see. Don't hesitate to leave a review! And if you like this story, then please don't hesitate to click the follow button and/or the favorite button:) Anyway, until next time :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N So, I've updated! (finally) I'm sorry it's taken so long, I've just been REALLY busy with school, and exams and whatnot, but nevertheless, I'm back! Seeing as it took me so long to update, I've made this chapter a bit longer to make up for it. So here's chapter 9! Once again, special thanks to everyone who is following/has reviewed/favourited this story! It means a lot, and don't be afraid to do any of those things, by the way. In regards to this chapter, please keep in mind that I am not a doctor, so I rely on personal experience, common sense (or my lack thereof) and the internet. Anyway, enjoy! Also, I don't own glee or any of the characters mentioned, apart from maybe Doctor Roberts :)**

_"I didn't know, I saw"_

Once they arrived at the hospital, Carole told Kurt and Blaine to wait by the car, while she went and got hold of the right person. Before long, Carole and Kurt were sitting in a room, opposite a doctor, with Blaine lying down on a small bed. "Hello, I'm doctor Roberts. It's nice to meet you Blaine."

"Erm, you too," Blaine said timidly. _Yeah, because we're meeting on such nice circumstances, aren't we?_

"Alright, well, I've checked your blood pressure, your heart rate and your breathing. Your blood pressure is a bit low, although not dangerously low, and your heart rate is a little faster than normal; however, I don't think you're in any immediate danger." The doctor said; Blaine simply stared at the ceiling.

The doctor looked at Blaine for a few moments before saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you two to leave," the doctor said, looking at Kurt and Carole. Kurt looked a bit confused, but Carole understood.

"Oh of course, come on Kurt. We can wait outside in the waiting room," Carole said as she got up and gestured for Kurt to follow.

"Blaine, will you be alright?" Kurt asked. _No_, Blaine wanted to say. _I'm not alright, please don't leave me. _However, Blaine also didn't really want Kurt around while he and the doctor were discussing…a certain thing; it's hard enough to discuss this kind of thing with anyone, let alone with your ex who broke up with you because they think you cheated, when really you got raped, and you didn't even know until a couple of days ago... Blaine nodded in answer to Kurt's question. Kurt silently followed Carole out the door, and shut it behind him, but not before gently squeezing Blaine's hand and giving, or trying to give him, a reassuring smile. Blaine watched the door slowly close, _the path to life, slowly, slowly closing._

"Alright, well, first off, you can call me Robert. Don't ask me why my parents named me Robert Roberts, as I do not know what they were thinking either." In spite of everything, Blaine smiled, almost laughed. _Maybe this won't be so bad._ Robert Roberts smiled at him.

"Um, you can call me Blaine," Blaine said.

"Cool, well Blaine, first off, what you and I say in here is entirely confidential, unless it is really necessary to tell other people, most likely it would be your family. Is that alright?"

"Er, sure," Blaine said. "I'm sorry; can you move your chair back a bit?" Blaine asked, noticing how close the doctor's chair was to the bed in which Blaine was lying on. He expected the doctor to give him a questioning look, however, the doctor simply nodded and moved his chair back a few paces.

"Alright, this is really awkward." Blaine smirked when he heard that, _you think?_ "So how about this: I'll ask you a question, and you can just nod, shake your head or not answer if you don't want to, okay?" Blaine nodded.

"Alright, cool. Obviously Carole's not your real mum," _but I wish she was, _"Is your mum and dad away at the moment?" Blaine nodded.

"I'm guessing they go away often, huh?" Blaine silently nodded. The doctor nodded, taking some notes down on his clipboard.

"I noticed that your breathing was faster than normal, has it always been like that?" Blaine slowly shook his head. "I do have asthma," Blaine said. The doctor nodded, noting something down on his clipboard.

"Have you noticed that you've been sweating a lot lately?" Blaine again nodded. "Have you been feeling nauseous?" Blaine nodded; the doctor already knew the answers to most of these questions from Carole, but he asked them anyway; he wanted Blaine to feel comfortable around him, and feel like he could trust him. "Now Blaine, remember you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Has a shocking event happened to you recently, or have you received some shocking news recently?" Blaine stared at the ceiling for a few moments, before slowly nodding. He waited for the doctor to give him one those sympathetic looks; this was what he was afraid of, if he told people, they would look at him differently. However, he saw none, the doctor simply nodded and noted down something on his clipboard.

"Alright, have you been able to eat anything since you found out?" The doctor asked. _How did he know? _Then Blaine thought of something which made him smile,_ he knows because he's the doctor! _Blaine hesitated, before shaking his head. "Alright, I'm not stupid enough to ask you if you're okay, as obviously you're not. However, I will ask whether you are willing to accept my help," the doctor said. Blaine looked up at the doctor,

"How can you help me when you don't even know what happened to me? How can you help me when I don't even remember what happened?"

"You don't remember, but you have been told what happened quite recently, am I right?" the doctor asked gently. Blaine looked up at him,

"How did you know?" Blaine whispered. _How does he know, when I didn't even know until a few days ago?!_

The doctor laughed internally, he only just resisted the urge to quote Sherlock, _'I didn't know, I saw'; _"I specialize in psychology, remember. Plus, you're not in physical shock; you've got a mild case of psychological shock. And so, it makes sense that what actually happened, happened a while ago, perhaps a few months ago; but you found out what happened very recently."

"You sound like Sherlock," Blaine muttered. The doctor grinned,

"Do you watch Sherlock?" Doctor Roberts asked; god how he loved that show.

"Yes!"

"So do I; it's my favourite show. I'm eagerly anticipating the first episode of season three. I still can't figure out he managed to pull that off!" the doctor said, he had lost count of how many theories he had come up with in regards to Sherlock.

"Neither can I!" Blaine said, having completely forgotten about the subject which he and the good doctor had been discussing only a few minutes earlier.

"How many theories have you come up with?" The doctor asked; he was pleased to see that Blaine grinned when he heard the question.

"Maybe…I don't know, twenty? Too many to count! How many have you come up with?" Blaine asked.

"Too many to count as well." The doctor said. He sighed inwardly; he could tell that, although he may appear almost fine, beneath the surface, Blaine was really hurting. The doctor had his suspicions of what he thought had happened, but he was going to have to ask Blaine. "Blaine, can I ask you a question?"

"sure," Blaine said.

"Alright, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, and all you have to do is nod or shake your head. Is that okay?" Blaine nodded, somewhat hesitantly. _How much has he guessed?_

"Blaine, were you raped?" the doctor asked. _Evidently, a lot, _Blaine thought.

The doctor didn't want to alarm Blaine, but he did really need to know for certain. Blaine looked up at the doctor for a second, before looking away. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He tried desperately to hold it together. _Should I tell him? He seems nice, but everybody seems nice, until they're not. _Blaine looked up at the doctor, and realised that the doctor wore a look of understanding. Not sympathy, but understanding. He didn't pressure Blaine; he simply waited patiently for Blaine's answer. After what seemed like ages, Blaine managed to give an almost imperceptible nod.

"Alright, I'm going to book you in with a therapist, who specialises in that area." _They have therapists that specialise in people who have been raped? What "lovely" jobs they have. _"Blaine, I want to assure you that things will get better, it's just going to take some time. Now, I'm going to have to at least inform Carole of what has happened." Blaine's head shot up; he knew it was inevitable, but still, he really didn't want Carole to know, or worse, Kurt. But then again, Carole's a nurse; she might not treat him like a breakable china doll.

Blaine nodded slowly, "do my parents have to know?" Blaine asked, _not that they would give a damn. They'd probably hope that this would somehow make me straight or something._

"They definitely should be told what's going on. However, I can tell that you don't have a close relationship with your parents, would you be comfortable with me letting your parents know what has happened?" Blaine slowly shook his head. Although it was tempting, as if his parents were told in the right way, they might kick him out, and then he could live with Kurt, Carole and Burt, but Blaine didn't really want to have to see the look of disgust on their faces when they found out. Blaine sighed, no matter how he told them, his parents would still be disappointed in him for still being gay. His dad might even hit him; although Blaine's dad hadn't hit his son lately, there was still a risk that he would.

"When will your parents get back?"

"They said two weeks, but it might end up being longer," Blaine said; he really wanted to just carry on living with Kurt, Carole and Burt; they would care, while Blaine's biological parents would not.

"Alright, you're technically an adult, so I'm not legally required to tell your parents of this, and I won't tell them against your will. However, I must stress that while you continue living with Carole and Kurt, and of course Carole's husband; that you talk to them, and tell them when something's wrong. As I said, I'm going to book you in to see a therapist who specializes in this area. I'm going to have to talk to your parents eventually, as we need to sort out what's going to happen in terms of living arrangements, as it's very important that you live in an environment in which you feel safe," the doctor said. _How did the doctor know that he didn't feel safe in his house with his parents? Well duh, he's the doctor!_ Blaine sighed,although Blaine wasn't terrified to go outside or anything, he didn't think that he would ever be able to walk down the street and not wonder what sort of people he was passing, what sort of secrets they kept, whether they were dangerous or not.

"Alright, our time's up. It was great to meet you Blaine," the doctor said kindly, extending his hand to help Blaine up from the bed in which he was lying on.

"Yeah, you too," Blaine said, somewhat quietly, accepting the doctor's extended hand.

"Blaine, can you call Carole in here? I just want to have a quick word with her. And Kurt too, please?" the doctor said. Blaine sighed; _this situation could potentially get extremely awkward. _

"Blaine! How did it go, honey?" Carole asked as Blaine walked through the door.

"Alright, the doctor wants to talk with you and Kurt," Blaine said, looking carefully at the floor, which had suddenly become particularly interesting. Carole got up and walked straight through the door to Doctor Roberts' office. Kurt got up, and before he too went into the doctor's office, he gave Blaine a quick hug. Blaine gratefully hugged him back, _somehow, Kurt just knew exactly what to do. _

After a few moments (_a few moments too soon, _thought Blaine), Kurt pulled back from the hug, and said gently, "I'll see you in a few minutes, Blaine," before walking into Doctor Roberts' office.

**A/N So that's that. As you can see, Sherlock decided that he wanted an appearance, or rather, a reference. I was going to include the conversation between Kurt, Carole and Doctor Roberts, in this chapter, but it was getting too long. I'll hopefully update within a week, as long as I stay organised. Hopefully you all catched that Doctor Who reference(and the quote at the very start is from Sherlock). Anyway, please feel free to review/favourite/follow this story, reading your reviews never fails to put a smile on my face (which is awkward in school, when I'm in class and I'm randomly smiling when we're supposed to be doing work). Until next time! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N In reply to Chrisch's review: first of all, thank you for reviewing! I am really glad you are enjoying reading this story! And I'm also really glad that you liked 'the doctor', and what you described is exactly how I wanted 'the doctor' to come across. :) As for revealing the truth to Kurt, well, you'll see! **

**Greetings to all my wonderful readers! I've got 72 followers! :D And I am terrible sorry that I have taken so long to update, the only excuse I can give is that I could not decide how I wanted this chapter to go, but never fear, I finally decided! Once again, thank you to every who is following/has favorited/reviewed this story! It never fails to brighten my day when I get email alert, telling me that someone has done one of those things! (so obviously, don't be afraid to do any of those things) Anyway, I should probably shut up now, so here's chapter 10! :)**

**Ps: I don't own glee, or any of the characters mentioned, except Doctor Roberts :)**

_You're not alone, together we stand_

As Kurt followed Carole into the Doctor's office, he suddenly began to feel particularly anxious. _What if something really horrible has happened to Blaine? What if it happened a long time ago and I didn't notice? Or worse, what if it happened before our breakup, and I was so absorbed with Vogue and New York that I didn't even notice?! _Kurt's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Doctor Roberts' voice,

"Ah, Carole and Kurt, please take a seat," the doctor said kindly. Carole sat in a chair opposite the doctor, while Kurt sat on the bed, which Blaine had lying on moments before. The doctor looked at Carole and Kurt for a moment, before making a decision in his mind.

"What's wrong with Blaine?" Kurt asked. "Is he okay?"

"Physically, yes; Blaine is fine," Doctor Roberts said, trying to put off the inevitable.

"What about psychologically? Is he fine psychologically" Carole asked.

The doctor took a deep breath. "Blaine has recently had a major shock. He has not told me the whole story; however, from what I can gather, Blaine has spent the past few months unaware that something horrific happened to him. He found out only a couple of days ago," the doctor said, carefully watching Carole and Kurt.

"But how did he not know what happened to him? I don't understand," Kurt blurted out, and then immediately cursed himself; _that's right Kurt, you just found out that something horrific has happened to your boyfriend(?), and the first thing you say is, 'why didn't he know what happened to him?' How insensitive can you get? _

However, the doctor, oblivious to Kurt's thoughts, merely wore a look of understanding, "It is quite common for people to not fully realize what has happened to them, until someone tells them. Sometimes they just simply did not realize that that was what happened, sometimes they don't remember for some reason; there are a variety of reasons for this scenario to occur, you see. Every case is different, including Blaine's."

The doctor paused for a moment, still a little unsure of how to proceed; after a moment, the doctor continued, "I am sure both of you want to know what has happened to Blaine, however, I am not going to tell you. I do not know the whole story, and plus I feel that it will be beneficial for Blaine if he tells you himself, when he is ready."

Kurt was slightly disappointed; however, he was confident that Blaine would tell him when he was ready. Carole simply nodded, "Alright, should we book him in to see someone?" Carole asked. Kurt smiled; Carole had a way of kindly, but not abruptly, cutting straight to the point.

The doctor nodded, "I am going to book Blaine in to see a therapist, which specialises in a particular area. I have a therapist in mind, and I will email the details of them to you, Carole," the doctor said, looking at Carole. "Now, Blaine has told me that his parents are away at the present time. Would it be possible if he stayed with you guys? I gather that Blaine does not have a very close relationship with his parents, however , I can see that he has a close relationship with you and your family; and it is very important that he is in an environment where he feels comfortable," the doctor said.

"Yes that is perfectly fine. Is that alright with you, Kurt?" Carole asked.

"Yes, it is," Kurt said. "But what will happen when Blaine's parents get back from their vacation?" _Would Blaine go back to living with his parents? Would he still live with us? _Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't close with his parents, and, judging from what the doctor had said, Blaine needed to be in a place where he felt he could open up.

"Ideally, he would stay on with you. He is eighteen; he is not legally required to live with his parents, and Blaine has requested for his parents not to be told what happened, which would make living with his parents rather difficult. When the time comes, I will speak with Blaine's parent, however, we'll cross the bridge when we come to it." The doctor said. "Now, I must ask you to try not to hover around Blaine, and to not pressure him to talk. Ask him if he's alright, or ask him to talk, by all means, but don't pressure him," Doctor Roberts said, checking his watch; they were out of time.

Carole and Kurt both nodded. _We'll get through this together, _Kurt thought. _Whatever this is, we'll get through this together._ "Alright, thank you Doctor Roberts," Carole said, as she glanced back up from looking at her own watch. She was about to ask Kurt whether he had any questions, when she realized that that would be a stupid question to ask, of course Kurt had questions. Carole sighed, she, unfortunately, had a pretty good idea of what had happened to Blaine; however, she, like doctor Roberts, didn't know the full story, and thought it would be good for Blaine to tell Kurt and her himself. She also didn't want to be the one to tell Kurt what she suspected had happened.

Carole and Kurt got up to leave. "Thank you," Kurt said quietly to Doctor Roberts.

"Good bye and I hope everything turns out fine," the doctor said to Kurt and Carole.

Once Kurt had walked out of the doctor's office, he marched straight to Blaine, who was sitting down in a chair. "Hey Blaine," Kurt said. Blaine jumped, having been startled by Kurt's voice. He looked nervously up at Kurt.

"Hey Kurt," Blaine said timidly. "Um, what did the doctor say to you?" Blaine asked nervously. Kurt suddenly took in how nervous Blaine was. _He's nervous because he thinks that I know what happened to him. _

"He said that you have recently discovered that something horrible happened to you a little while ago, but you only found out that that was what happened, a few days ago," Kurt said gently. Blaine slowly nodded; Kurt noticed that Blaine was literally shaking as he got up. Once Blaine was standing up fully, Kurt pulled him into a hug. "Hey, it's alright, it's going to be okay," Kurt said. Once Kurt and Blaine broke apart, they and Carole drove back to Kurt's house. Once inside, Blaine went and sat on the sofa; Kurt went and sat next to Blaine, putting an arm around him.

"I feel so pathetic," Blaine whispered. Kurt looked at Blaine and noticed that his eyes were full of tears.

"You're not pathetic, Blaine." Kurt said, trying to reassure Blaine. "You're amazing, and whatever has happened, we can work through it together," Kurt said, however, Blaine shook his head. Then Kurt got an idea. He was always better at communicating his feelings through singing rather than talking, after all. Kurt unwound his arm from Blaine, and gently squeezed Blaine's hand as he started singing.

_You're not alone_

_Together we stand_

Blaine smiled when he recognised what song Kurt was singing

_I'll be by your side; you know I'll take your hand_

_When it gets cold_

_And it feels like the end_

_There's no place to go_

_You know I won't give in_

_No I won't give in_

_Keep holding on_

_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

_Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_

'I'm here for you, Blaine,' Kurt thought.

_There's nothing you could say_

_Nothing you could do_

_There's no other way when it come to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

_Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

When Kurt finished singing, he gently pulled Blaine into a hug. Blaine clung to Kurt like he was his lifeline. "Blaine, it will be alright. It may not seem like it now, but in the end, it will be okay," Kurt said, hoping with every fiber in him that, although nothing could make whatever had happened, right; in the end it would indeed, be okay. _You're not alone, together we stand._

**A/N So that's chapter 10! I'm guessing you've all noticed by now that I've been putting off Kurt finding out ("you think?" I hear you all say). Don't worry, it will happen! Just please bear with me; the main reason I didn't want doctor Roberts to tell Kurt, was because I want Blaine to be the one to tell Kurt, and if everything goes according to my plan (which, I will warn you, might not happen, as my stories tend to write themselves), then that will happen very soon...sort of. Anyway, I am on holidays currently, so I am determined to update regularly for once, so yeah, I will hopefully update in a few days! Once again, thank you to every who has favorited/ is following/has reviewed this story! It means a lot. So anyway, until next time :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**In reply to Chrisch's review: First of all, thank you so much for reviewing! In regards to what you said, that is one of the reasons why I didn't want 'the doctor' to tell Kurt, and I'm really glad that you like 'the doctor' :) And I totally agree, which was also one of the reasons why I didn't want Doctor Roberts to tell Kurt, it would be very embarrassing and horrifically awkward to have a doctor tell your ex-boyfriend whom you cheated on(or at least, that's what they think), that you were raped. And yes, Kurt's reaction when he finds out (yes, he will eventually find out, believe it or not!) will be interesting. You're just going to have to be patient! Anyway, thank you soooo much for reviewing!**

**A/N So here's chapter 11!(that sounds really weird, I never thought this story would end up being 11 chapters long!) I was true to my word for once, and updated when I said I would! (cause for big celebration! lol) I forgot to mention that the song in the last chapter was 'Keep Holding On' by Avril Lavigne. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed/has favorited/is following this story! I love reading your reviews, so please don't hesitate to leave a review :) Anyway, I really hope you enjoy!**

_Sarah_

While the two boys were sitting there, Carole came in. "Hey boys, I was thinking of making some minestrone soup, would you like some?" Carole asked, knowing that if Blaine was able to eat anything, it would be soup.

Kurt looked at Blaine questioningly. Blaine still didn't feel much like eating, but he knew had to eat eventually. "Alright," Blaine said after a few moments, not sounding particularly enthusiastic.

"Great! I'll make it now," Carole said, before heading, presumably, to the kitchen.

Kurt looked at Blaine, who seemed to be staring into space. After a few moments, Kurt called out, "Blaine?" shaking Blaine's leg a little. Blaine jumped at the sudden contact, and flinched away from Kurt. _God Blaine, calm down. It's Kurt, it's only Kurt, he's not going to hurt you. _"Oh sorry Blaine; I didn't mean to startle you," Kurt said, trying to hide his confusion. _Talk to him later, let him eat first, _Kurt told himself. "You just looked like you were day dreaming, that's all." Blaine tried to smile like it was nothing,

"It's okay; you just scared me, that's all," Blaine said. "How about we listen to music while we wait for the soup to be ready?" Blaine asked, trying to make the situation less awkward, and yes, to try to change the topic.

"Sure," Kurt said. Blaine reached for his iPod, which was currently wedged inside his jeans pocket. Once he got it, he clicked shuffle.

"Oh, this is a nice song," Kurt said upon hearing the first few notes of the song. Blaine groaned inwardly when he heard those first few notes. _It just had to be this song? Out of all the songs on my iPod, it just had to be this one? I would have almost preferred it if 'teenage dream' was playing, no Blaine; that would make the situation extremely awkward, and you, and possibly Kurt, would end up in tears. _The song in question was 'Sarah' by Kate Miller-Heidke. Of all the songs to play, the song which was playing just had to be the song about a girl, whose friend, Sarah, went missing. A fortnight later, Sarah comes back, with no recollection of what happened. Blaine glanced at Kurt, who was just quietly listening to the song. He also had a thoughtful look on his face, Blaine observed.

_Then a fortnight later_

_Sarah knocked upon their door_

_Her mother asked her 'Where've you been?'_

_And she said_

_'I don't know, I don't know, I'm not sure._

_I'm not sure._

_I can't remember anything at all.'_

As Kurt listened, he looked at Blaine and noticed the strange expression on his face. Then Kurt remembered what the doctor had told him, _"Blaine has recently had a major shock…spent the past few months unaware that something horrific happened to him…found out only a couple of days ago."_ Kurt looked at Blaine again, Blaine was still wearing that strange expression; it wasn't sad exactly, nor happy. The only way Kurt could describe the look on Blaine's face, was that of holding something in. Desperately trying to say something, or tell something but not doing so for whatever reason. _So he can't remember what happened,_ Kurt thought. Little did Kurt know, that Blaine really wanted to tell Kurt something, but was also desperately trying to hold it together. _But then how does he know what happened? Maybe he talked to someone or went somewhere? _Just then, Carole came in with the soup.

"I'll just set it down here, shall I?" She asked, gesturing towards the table, which was located a couple of metres away from the sofa which Blaine and Kurt were currently sitting on.

"Yes please, thank you," Kurt said, a little distracted. Once Carole had gone out of the room, Kurt turned towards Blaine. "You don't remember what happened, do you Blaine?" Kurt asked quietly but gently. Blaine froze, and slowly turned to look at Kurt. _Just nod, Blaine. Calm down, calm down, you can do it, just nod. _After what seemed like forever to Kurt, who was oblivious to Blaine's internal argument with himself; Blaine nodded. "Alright-" Kurt was about to say something else when he noticed that Blaine was shaking. "Blaine? Are you okay? You're shaking," Kurt asked, and then immediately cursed himself, _of course he's not okay!_

"rm fine," Blaine answered, however, his voice sounded very raw and raspy. Kurt then noticed that Blaine was hyperventilating. _Oh no._

"Blaine, it's alright, everything's going to be fine, but you need to calm down," Kurt said, trying to reassure Blaine, however, Kurt's words seemed to have no effect, for Blaine's breathing was getting faster and faster.

"Blaine, do you have your puffer?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head vigorously. _Calm down, calm down, everything's fine, Blaine; just calm down. Oh god, I can't calm down, I can't calm down! _Blaine was panicking more and more by the second, he vaguely heard Kurt call for Carole. _That's right, Carole's a nurse; she'll have a first aid, which will hopefully have a puffer in it. Just keep breathing _(not that he was breathing properly), _just keep breathing. In, out, in out. Oh god, I can hardly breathe, what if I die? No Blaine, you're not going to die, don't think about it, don't even go there. _

As those thoughts were going through Blaine's mind, Carole came into the room, carrying a medical kit. She opened it and pulled out a puffer. She gently pressed the mouth piece of the puffer, into Blaine's mouth. "Blaine, just try to take a few deep breaths," Carole said. After a few moments, the medication started taking effect, and Blaine's breathing slowed down. Once Blaine's breathing had returned to normal, Carole took the mouth piece out of Blaine's mouth. "I take it you have asthma?" Blaine nodded. "Are you alright now?" Blaine again nodded. Carole looked like she was going to say something, but then thought better of it. With one final look at Kurt, and then at Blaine, Carole got up, saying "I'll be in the front room if you need me."

Once Carole was gone, Kurt turned towards Blaine. "Blaine, what was that about?" Blaine thought about playing dumb and pretending not to know what Kurt really meant, but then thought better of it.

"That song," Blaine whispered. "I just, I can, I can-"

"You can relate to it? Is that what you're saying?" Kurt asked gently.

"Yes, I can relate to Sarah, more or less," Blaine said. _Just because he knows that I can't remember, doesn't mean he's going to guess, right? No Blaine; if Kurt guesses, then that's good! And that way, you won't have to tell him what happened, as he'll have figured it out himself. But then he would know, then he would know how stupid I was, and how unclean I am, how dirty I am… Blaine, stop it, don't think about it. This is Kurt; he's not going to judge you. Wait, Kurt's talking to you._

"Are you sure you can't remember?" Kurt asked; he knew it was a stupid question, but he still wanted to ask it. Blaine nodded.

"Yes; I've tried. Believe me, I've tried, and I still do try, I do, I still try to remember. But I can't." Blaine said quietly, looking at the ground. Blaine was trying hard not to cry; _god, I can't even talk about anything remotely related to it without crying. _While Blaine was thinking that, Kurt thought to himself. _He went months, not knowing that this, whatever this is, had happened to him? That would be so…I don't know, strange. _Kurt glanced at Blaine, and noticed that he was barely holding back tears. Kurt pulled Blaine into a hug, which Blaine accepted. "Sh, it's alright; it's going to be okay."

"No it won't" Blaine said through tears.

"Yes it will; things might seem bad at the moment, but it will get better, I promise," Kurt said, trying to hold back tears himself.

"How do you know?" Blaine challenged.

"Because I know everything" Upon hearing that, Blaine made a noise, which was half way between a laugh and a sob. After a few moments, Blaine spoke up again,

"But what if it doesn't get better? What if I never get better? People are not going to want to wait that long for me to get better."

"Blaine? Blaine, listen to me okay? I said that we were going to get through this together, remember?" Blaine nodded, tears still streaming down his face. "Well, I meant it; we are going to get through this, together; however long it takes." After a few minutes, Blaine spoke up,

"Thank you," Blaine whispered.

"What are you thinking me for?" Kurt asked.

"For just being you." Kurt smiled, and hugged Blaine tighter.

**A/N The End.** **I hope you all enjoyed reading this story.**

**Lol, I'm kidding, that's not the end, this story is nowhere near the end. I hope you guys enjoyed reading that chapter! The song mentioned in this chapter is 'Sarah' by Kate Miller-Heidke. (the lyric video for that song is amazing, you should watch it, and listen to it. It's so hauntingly beautiful :))Things are going to get interesting in, I think, the next chapter. And if everything goes to plan, then something which I have been planning for a while, will happen in the next chapter *evil grin. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed Chapter 11! Please don't be afraid to review/favorite/follow this story! I'll update as soon as possible! Until next time :)**


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